I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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