the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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