I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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