I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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