I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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