This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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