he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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