i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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