hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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