so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
