My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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