I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
