he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
