i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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