she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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