apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
