Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
