i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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