I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
