Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize