you would pick up someone in the library
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The best revenge is premature balding
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
