Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
