so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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