Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
vagina is talking i cant
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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