my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
