question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
