You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
