I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
