I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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