Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pants are for mortals
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
