The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
