I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
