break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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