Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
