Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
