how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do vagina's smell?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
