I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
