i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
