You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
