yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
whose ass print is on the piano?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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