bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
