i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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