instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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