I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
