Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
