his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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