I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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