How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
