this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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