I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You took a bar mat shot.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
