Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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