My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
