You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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