so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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