Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
