if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
