Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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