you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
do nipples grow back?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
