your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
